Heartbreak Reality

You have about 90 percent control over your mood. While this is a statistic, and statistics are unreliable at best, this is also a statistic I made up. No one can tell you how much control you have over you mood and general disposition. I can't tell you. I would guess that I have about 90 percent control over my own mood and generalize it to you because of my general intelligence and pride.
You may feel like you only have 10 percent control over your mood and reactions. If that's what you believe, you are absolutely right. In essence, I'm trying to tell you that you are a dynamically powerful being and that your mind is capable of directing your body in the direction you want it to go. Adrenaline, Estrogen, Habit, Testosterone: Nothing if you use the power you are given. It is only up to you to exercise the authority over the illusions misting around you and take control over yourself.
Connect body and spirit and become soul.
Become soul.

Frustration

I'm at the beginning.
You know how books often start right at the beginning of a problem? Not always, but sometimes they do. The more boring beginnings start right in with lots of background to "set the stage" but the better books find ways to grab you, to suck you into the story so that the mundane background info becomes as important to you as reliving your own history. It breathes richness into the attention-getting "grabber" of a beginning.
And you can see that the story is going to get better, meatier. Like a plump little calf you just know is going to be the biggest, juiciest walking steak you have ever seen! Well-I'm a vegetarian so I guess its like asparagus-no-a strawberry that you just know will get so plump and ripe... Yeah, that image just doesn't work as well for vegetarians. Sorry.
Anyway, the problem with this problem is that it is just that-a problem. You don't live the stress of the character as their life falls apart. Sure, you may sympathize but mostly you take on the attitude of a full-grown man that laughs at footage of another man getting hit in the double-nubles in a "I'm so glad that wasn't me way."
I guess my point is that I don't even have someone to read my life story and chuckle uncomfortably when things go wrong. I think I deserve it, too! At least that.
Well, unless I'm in a tragedy. Then I guess my life-book would bring no relief to either me or my reader.
Huh.

Blind

You say there is darkness in the light
Like a shadow that sneaks onto your path before the sun hits.
The shadow is your own.
You let it taunt you
With its delicious fear.
Its sweat is a tinge in your nose,
A sour undertone and tightness in your muscles.
You mustn't sleep.
Stand watch for the darkness
That comes in the light.

Depends

I rely on you
To tell me I am nothing
That I may prove you wrong.
Without you
To tell me I am nothing
Who am I to prove?

I rely on you
That I may believe in me.

Routine VS Spontaneity

I feel like we need a healthy balance of new experiences and consistency in our lives in order to be truly healthy. I got started on this thought because I'm SICK of my "favorites" playlist. They've all turned into the same as the popular songs you hear one an hour on the radio. So I went on iTunes and browsed for some new artists. I found Spoon and Florence + The Machine and I am ecstatic! There's nothing like the unexpected to make you appreciate your existence.
This isn't limited to music, or even clothes or routines. It's something our minds need to remind us we are living and changeable beings. I feel like our minds can get into ruts where we believe we can only function or exist in one way and that is a slow death for our minds. The activity of questioning ourselves and our roles in the grand scheme allow us the space to vary in our routines without losing the stability of knowing who we are- as long as we have some principle basis.

Waiting for a Tsumani

There's a certain excited anticipation that becomes contagious when you get warning of an impending natural disaster. I don't know if it has more to do with the realization that you really don't know what will happen or the adrenaline that we get from fear. In any case, you can learn about yourself in these situations.
I surprised myself. I always considered myself someone who would be calm under the pressure of surprise-and I was right-but there's more to it than that.
As I debated on the seriousness of the threat of a tsunami, the thing that sparked me into action was the realization of how my inactivity may affect the people around me. 1. If I didn't take it seriously, how many other people may not? 2. I was prepared but how many people I know don't know what to prepare in situations like this? 3. Who do I know that may not know about the possible danger?
These were the things that motivated me. I wonder sometimes if my propensity to try to help and save everyone else is sometimes at a cost to myself. Is it self destructive? I don't know yet...

Once Upon a Movie Set

So, I magically became an extra on the set of Soul Surfer filming at Turtle Bay this last week. That was interesting. I got to see some big stars, hang out with quirky people and got paid to get a tan.
It's funny how people's personalities meld when they are gunning for camera time. Don't get me wrong, I was totally trying to sneak my way into the line of the camera, too- it's just a shame that the pride of fame can get people into interesting situations.
Photo: http://www.film-festival.org/SoulSurfer.jpg